Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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