their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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