he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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