when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
