From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
