She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize