you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize