Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
false alarm. still invincible.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize