Jerry, you need to find god
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
