you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
