Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
