so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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