You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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