I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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