why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
