he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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