last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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