Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
