Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
