so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
