So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
