Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
