Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
