he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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