i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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