i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
