question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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