I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
