all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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