I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
