Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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