Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
