I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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