I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
