so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
