This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize