Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
