is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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