their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
