found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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