Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
