I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
