seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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