using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize