I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
