I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
