bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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