You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize