Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
