Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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