She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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