Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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