I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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