While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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