Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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