Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
