"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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