I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
