I must be too annoying 4 u.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize