hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
