The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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