That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
