We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
