During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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