He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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